How well you address all parts of the task with fully extended and supported ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
How well you organize information and ideas with clear progression throughout.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary, including range, accuracy, and appropriacy of word choice.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Your use of grammar, including range and accuracy of grammatical structures.
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This is the essay and question area
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Question
The Internet is now used all around the world as a source of information and communication. However, it's often controversial, so many people think it needs to be controlled. Others believe there should be no interference whatsoever.Discuss both points of view, and give your opinion.Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Answer
The Internet has changed the way people live, providing acess to information and easy communication worldwide. However, some believe that the Internet should be controlled due to its dangers, while others think it should remain free with no restrictions. This topic is controversial, and both sides have strong arguments.
One side argues that the Internet needs regulation to prevent harmful content from spreading. Fake news, cybercrime, and harmful content can influence people negatively, especially young ones. Without control, anyone can post harmful things, leading to harmful consequences. Many countries have introduced laws to stop harmful websites from spreading false information. For example, in some places, governmants monitor online information to ensure that it does not contain violence or hate speech. But, is control always good?
On the other hand, some people think that control over the Internet can limit freedom. The Internet is a platform where people express their opinnions, share information, and connect globally. If there is too much control, people may not get information freely. In some countries, strict control means that people cannot acess true information about political and social issues. Moreover, businesses and education benifit from a free and open Internet, helping in growth and development.
In my opinnion, there should be a balance. Some control is neccessary to stop harmful content and protect people. However, too much control can limit freedom and stop people from acessing important knowledge. Governmants should focus on protecting users while keeping the Internet as open as possible.
Overall, the Internet is a powerful tool for information and communication, but the debate over control will continue. Finding a middle ground is the best solution for a safe yet free digital world.
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Predicted Band Score
6.0
Word Analysis
Words Written: 280
Minimum Words:
250
Area of improvement
⚠1. The essay could benefit from more specific examples to strengthen the arguments, such as mentioning particular countries or laws.
⚠2. The opinion could be made stronger by explaining why finding a balance is important in more detail.
⚠3. The introduction could include a brief mention of why the Internet is important to set the context better.
⚠4. Some points could be elaborated further, like how businesses benefit from a free Internet, to add depth to the argument.
Strengths
✔1. The essay clearly presents both sides of the argument about controlling the Internet.
✔2. There is a clear opinion stated in the conclusion, suggesting a balance between control and freedom.
✔3. The essay includes relevant examples, such as laws in some countries to stop harmful content.
✔4. The structure is logical, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Sentence Analysis
20
Total Sentences
+
1
Questional
Simple (4)
Complex (8)
Compound (8)
Questional (1)
Grammar Mistakes
Type
Original
Suggestion
spelling
acess
access
spelling
governmants
governments
spelling
opinnions
opinions
spelling
acess
access
spelling
benifit
benefit
spelling
opinnion
opinion
spelling
neccessary
necessary
spelling
acessing
accessing
spelling
governmants
governments
Vocabulary Enhancement
Original Word
Suggested Synonym
harmful
detrimental
Internet
web
control
authority/regulation
people
individuals
information
data/knowledge
Area of improvement
⚠1. There are several spelling errors, such as "acess" (access), "governmants" (governments), and "opinnions" (opinions). These should be corrected for clarity.
⚠2. Some phrases could be more varied; for example, instead of repeating "harmful content," try using synonyms like "dangerous material."
⚠3. Using more advanced vocabulary could enhance the essay; for instance, instead of "stop harmful content," you could say "mitigate detrimental information."
⚠4. Avoid informal phrases like "But, is control always good?" This can be rephrased to sound more formal, such as "However, one must consider whether control is always beneficial."
Strengths
✔1. The vocabulary used is appropriate for discussing a complex topic like the Internet and its regulation.
✔2. There are some good phrases, like "harmful content" and "freedom of expression," which show understanding of the topic.
✔3. The use of words like "controversial" and "influence" adds depth to the writing.
✔4. The essay avoids repetition by using synonyms effectively, such as "control" and "regulation."
Cohesive Devices
Total Used:6
Unique:5
Cohesive Devices
Word
On the other hand
However
Moreover
Overall
For example
Area of improvement
⚠1. Some transitions between sentences could be smoother; adding phrases like "for instance" or "as a result" can help connect ideas better within paragraphs.
⚠2. The introduction could include a brief overview of what will be discussed in each paragraph to guide readers better from the start.
⚠3. In body paragraphs, using topic sentences at the beginning can help clarify what each paragraph will discuss right away. For example, start with “One argument for regulating the Internet is…”
⚠4. Ensure that each point made in body paragraphs relates back to the main question about control versus freedom to maintain focus throughout the essay.
Strengths
✔1. The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that makes it easy to follow.
✔2. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point related to the topic, which helps maintain clarity throughout the essay.
✔3. Ideas are logically organized; arguments for both sides are presented before stating a personal opinion at the end.
✔4. There are some linking words used effectively, such as "however" and "on the other hand," which help connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.